Book Review: Learning to Love When You Don’t Feel Like It

When Kenny Lewis realized that his wife felt unloved in their marriage he was shocked, and he resolved not only to work on his marriage but to learn how to love well. He research hundreds of verses in the Old and New Testaments and learned about what the bible says about love. He learned that the bible refers to love as a verb, and as a result he wrote Learning to Love When You Don’t Feel Like It.

The book uses scripture and experience to challenge the idea that love is a feeling. When love is defined as an action it is something that people can easily choose to do long-term despite their emotions.
The book is not filled with idealistic concepts that don’t translate into everyday life. Every other page is filled with a story or a practical example. The book does an incredible job of using these stories to show both the positive or negative consequences of choosing to follow or not follow God’s principles for love. While this shouldn’t be the case, rooted in scripture and practical sometimes sound like oxymoron. In Lewis’s book, rooted in scripture and practical work hand in hand to make a lovely marriage of truth and application. The book doesn’t have a magical formula, but among other things it does give steps on how to let go and let God help us forgive when we don’t feel like it. It gives steps on how to practically show kindness. It defines what “bearing all things” actually means.

Lewis writes this book as a husband learning to love his wife and family, and while this is a “Love & Marriage” book, the book’s focus is much broader than just marital love. It’s about how to love anybody, anytime, and under any circumstance. I wouldn’t just recommend this book to married couples, I would recommend it to anyone wanting to be challenged in how they love and live.

On a personal note:
Lewis is a Pastor in Brownsville, TX. While anyone in the country could relate to the stories in his book, he uses stories from the community he works in. For those of who are familiar with Lewis’ community, I would especially recommend this book. The practical examples come from your neighbors, people in your community. You might even recognize a story or two from reading it in the newspaper. The book shows a beautiful picture of God working his love in the community of Brownsville.